Dr. Dads Life Blog

Dr. Dad! A God fearing man!

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Warning:
The message below contains material that could be highly offensive! If you find the Bible, or the contents within it offensive, you should abstain from reading this. Please be advised, the writings below will only make sense when viewed through the appropriate filter of the Holy Spirit. “To all others, it will seem as foolishness” (1 Corinthians 1:18).

Definition: A barometer is a scientific instrument used in meteorology to measure atmospheric pressure. Pressure tendency can forecast short-term changes in the weather. Simply stated, it’s a device that allows you to predict the changes in the weather.

What is your “atmospheric pressure”?
How can a Christian man tell, measure, or predict where he is at spiritually?

Well, one way you can measure this is by how much you hate sin. Do you welcome sin into your house when it knocks on the door, or do you ignore it’s request at all cost?

Do you weep when you see the sinfulness of man, including your own sin, or do you wink at it with fond familiarity and acceptance? The way in which you respond to sin serves as a barometer to indicate your godliness.

What is in your heart?
“Rivers of water run down from my eyes, because men do not keep Your law” (Psalms 119:136).

Wow, what an accurate picture of a heart that is near to God! As we draw closer to Him, our heart’s desire will be to hate sin. The sinful things we used to embrace will be the things which we now destain. The heart of a godly man will be broken over the lawlessness he sees in this world.

Do you grieve over the sin you see around you, as well as the sin in your own life? If not, now is a great time to immerse yourself into God’s word and draw near to Him. Humbly spend time with Him in His word and the Holy Spirit will give you a heart that loves purity and righteousness.

How can you move towards Godliness?
You want to know how to overcome the sin that plagues you? Draw near to God and sin will become the disdained enemy in your life! As we dive into His word and immerse ourselves in His presence, our nature begins to shift. Our passions and our calling become ignited with direction. His desires become our ways, and our flesh-oriented nature begins to diminish.

“Let those who love the LORD hate evil, for he guards the lives of his faithful ones and delivers them from the hand of the wicked” (Psalms 97:10).

Today, make it a priority to read God’s word, make it a point to seek His Truth, and make it a prayer to have His heart. After all, the best defense against our flesh is to be in the courtyard of the living God.

Sad Man

Have any of you men ever wished to possess the ability to get whatever you want from your wife?

Well over the next few minutes, I will uncover for you the principles behind
this amazing, and achievable, ability.

– Talmud –
“A wife is the joy of a man’s heart.”

I am going to show you how to tap into that joy.

Story of the Divorce Lawyer
A woman goes into a divorce lawyer and says she’d like a divorce–and she states that she would like to take her husband for everything he’s got.

The lawyer says: “OK, here’s the deal…. I want you to go home and treat him like a king for one month. At the end of the month, we’ll spring a divorce on him so
hard, he won’t know what hit him.”

The wife comes back after one month and says that she no longer wishes to divorce her husband. “Why not?” asks the attorney.

“Well, ever since I started treating him like a king, he started treating me like a queen.”

Three Secrets
I want to share three secrets, which, when properly executed, will enable you to gain a magical influence over your wife:

1. Treat her like a queen and crown her daily.

The way you treat your wife will directly affect the way that she treats you. By holding her in high esteem, she will have the confidence, and example, of how to treat you. I watch so many men talk down to their wives and belittle them as if they are less important than themselves—these are the “dictator jerk” men. I also see men whose wives are belittling them and telling them how to run the show…these are the wimpy men. Women don’t like dictators, and they don’t respect wimps. There is a healthy balance between these two extremes.

Do you let your wife know that she is important to you? Do you let her know how much you appreciate all that she does for you and your family? Do you make her feel like she is the most important person in your life? If not, then you’re not treating her like a Queen. Some physical ways you can treat her like a Queen are to:

Put your hands on her face and tell her she is beautiful.

When you come home, put your arms around her and tell her you love her.

Reach out, take both of her hands, hold them, look into her eyes, and just say nothing.
Men, you want to see a new empowerment in your wife’s life? Try treating her like a queen and see what happens.

2. Make lots of deposits into her bank account.

I am not talking about depositing into her financial bank account—although there is something to be said about that, too. I am talking about making deposits into her emotional bank account. Every person has an emotional bank account. This account is where we store all of the emotional things that happen to us. Examples of a deposit include a kind word spoken or a kind gesture performed. On the other hand, rude comments or disrespectful actions actually work as withdrawals from our wives’ emotional bank accounts. Our goal as great husbands should be to make more deposits than withdrawals.

A quick note: A large enough withdrawal, such as cheating on your spouse, could bankrupt this account. It is also important to point out that deposits must be made from within your wife’s frame of reference—this means that your deposits must be things that she wants or needs. If you are bringing her strawberry shakes every day but she doesn’t like strawberries, then as loving as this may seem, you are not really depositing into her emotional bank account. Everyone has their own love language—this is the language that they speak and know. You need to discover her love language and speak it to her.

Here are some practical ways of making deposits into your wife’s emotional bank account:

Buy the pack of colorful little sticky notes (don’t be cheap and buy or use
the standard yellow ones) and then write little love notes and stick them
around for her to find the next day when she wakes up. I have found this
to be one of the simplest ways to help her conquer the day that lies ahead.

Sit down with your wife when you get home and just listen to her. Don’t try to fix her problems, just listen. Don’t let yourself get distracted. Remember
that she is the most important person in your life—treat her as such. Let
her know that there is nowhere you would rather be at the moment than
listening to everything she has to say. Have you ever noticed in the dating
circles that it’s always the quiet guy that gets the really cute girls?
There is a reason for this. Women LOVE men who listen to them; it makes
them feel important. Start listening to your wife every day, take a real
interest in what she is saying, and watch her respect and desire for you
grow exponentially.

Bring her flowers. As simple as this may sound, it is still so powerful. Women love flowers…especially for no reason. Men, if you messed up in some way, and then brought your wife flowers—you’re still at a net zero! But if you bring her flowers for no reason, and with no expectation—then that’s a real deposit. Why wait? Go buy some today! Do this and watch your
relationship blossom before your eyes.
Hug her often. This can be one of the greatest ways to make an emotional
deposit…especially if she is lacking affection. Too often as men we get so
busy trying to build our empire that we forget the one we are trying to
take care of and build it for. Our wives are women, and women need
affection…affection with no other expectation other than to make her feel
loved, respected and appreciated. Start hugging her daily and watch how it will change her into a more complete person.

3. Cherish her. Hold her in high esteem. Protect her heart.

This is the magic that makes everything that you do work. By esteeming her you are letting your wife know that she is truly the most important part of your life. You are communicating that she is indeed more important than yourself. You treat her as she deserves to be treated, you love her as she deserves to be loved, and you treat her as the most important means to a happy life. As it has been said: Happy wife, happy life.

As it says in I Peter 3:7, “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.”

How can we men truly understand our wives if we don’t study them? What makes your wife tick? What does she love? What does she hate? What is her love language? What does she need most from you? I frequently hear men commiserating with other men about the lack of understanding they have concerning their wife. I have no respect for a man who after many years of being married hasn’t figured out the least bit of how his wife works. We may never truly understand our wives, but we can always continue to strive and learn. What amazes me is that the same man who is clueless about how his wife works is often the one who has such an intimate knowledge of hunting deer that he wears deer urine to attract them. He can tell you anything about deer. His intimate knowledge of his passion makes him successful in his endeavor. What would happen if he had the same passion for figuring out his wife as he does for figuring out how to attract deer? He would have the most amazing marriage!

By selflessly putting her needs above your own, she will indeed feel cherished…and this is the final secret that really creates the magic.

So in conclusion, the three points were:

Treat her like a Queen and crown her daily
Make lots of deposits into her emotional bank account
Cherish her
These three things, when properly executed, will indeed wield a magical way over your wife and empower her to fulfill every desire of your heart—which at this point will only be to fulfill hers.

Now go home and serve your Queen!

As I was sitting in Starbucks I noticed a couple in their 50’s walk toward the seating area where they have the comfortable chairs. As they approached the chairs, I noticed that there was only one padded, comfortable chair available. I was curious to see what this man would do. My first thought was of my father and what he would have done. This would be a “no brainer” for my dad. He would have given the chair to my mom, and then either stood by her side until another chair became available or gotten a hard wooden chair and sat by her side. Well, to my surprise, this man sat in the comfortable chair with no thought or concern for his wife. His wife then went to a section where there was an available wooden chair and carried this chair next to where her husband was sitting and sat down by his side. This man clearly did not regard any of this as odd…or wrong.

What is wrong with the men of today?

Although this man’s demeanor was strong and confident, he lacks the one thing that would actually make him a great leader: a servant’s heart. Men were created to be leaders, not dictators. A woman desires to follow a great man—that is how she was wired. The problem is that most men are not real men anymore; they have either become wimps or dictators. Many men have forgotten that one of the greatest secrets to a happy marriage lies in his ability to serve his wife. You need to treat your wife like a Queen if you want her to treat you like a King. A great woman completes a man, but it is the responsibility of the man to help his wife become that person. A marriage is a team effort, but it is the man’s responsibility to head up that team. Whether you like it or not, men, the health of your marriage is your responsibility. A great marriage begins with you.

Men, it’s time to step up to the plate and start leading your marriage and families. It’s time to become real men.

Good news, men: This is the good part of the article, where I will teach you how to wield a magical way over your wife through your actions. I will also give you the three secrets on how to get that ultimate influence over your wife that you have always dreamed of having.

I believe there are three things you can do to make your marriage great, and these three things, when properly executed, will indeed yield a magical way over your wife and empower her to fulfill every desire of your heart.
1.Treat her like a Queen and crown her daily.

The way you treat your wife will directly affect the way that she treats you. By holding her in high esteem, she will have the confidence, and example, of how to treat you. I watch so many men talk down to their wives and belittle them as if they are less important than themselves—these are the “dictator jerk” men. I also see men whose wives are belittling them and telling them how to run the show…these are the wimpy men. Women don’t like dictators, and they don’t respect wimps. There is a healthy balance between these two extremes.

Do you let your wife know that she is important to you? Do you let her know how much you appreciate all that she does for you and your family? Do you make her feel like she is the most important person in your life? If not, then you’re not treating her like a Queen. Some physical ways you can treat her like a Queen are to:
◾Put your hands on her face and tell her she is beautiful.
◾When you come home, put your arms around her and tell her you love her.
◾Reach out, take both of her hands, hold them, look into her eyes, and just say nothing.

Men, you want to see a new empowerment in your wife’s life? Try treating her as a Queen and see what happens.

2. Make lots of deposits into her bank account.

I am not talking about depositing into her financial bank account—although there is something to be said about that, too. I am talking about making deposits into her emotional bank account. Every person has an emotional bank account. This account is where we store all of the emotional things that happen to us. Examples of a deposit include a kind word spoken or a kind gesture performed. On the other hand, rude comments or disrespectful actions actually work as withdrawals from our wives’ emotional bank accounts. Our goal as great husbands should be to make more deposits than withdrawals. A quick note: A large enough withdrawal, such as cheating on your spouse, could bankrupt this account. It is also important to point out that deposits must be made from within your wife’s frame of reference—this means that your deposits must be things that she wants or needs. If you are bringing her strawberry shakes every day but she doesn’t like strawberries, then as loving as this may seem, you are not really depositing into her emotional bank account. Everyone has their own love language—this is the language that they speak and know. You need to discover her love language and speak it to her.

Here are some practical ways of making deposits into your wife’s emotional bank account:
◾Buy the pack of colorful little sticky notes (don’t be cheap and buy or use the standard yellow ones) and then write little love notes and stick them around for her to find the next day when she wakes up. I have found this to be one of the simplest ways to help her conquer the day that lies ahead.
◾Sit down with your wife when you get home and just listen to her. Don’t try to fix her problems, just listen. Don’t let yourself get distracted. Remember that she is the most important person in your life—treat her as such. Let her know that there is nowhere you would rather be at the moment than listening to everything she has to say. Have you ever noticed in the dating circles that it’s always the quiet guy that gets the really cute girls? There is a reason for this. Women LOVE men who listen to them; it makes them feel important. Start listening to your wife every day, take a real interest in what she is saying, and watch her respect and desire for you grow exponentially.
◾Bring her flowers. As simple as this may sound, it is still so powerful. Women love flowers…especially for no reason. Men, if you messed up in some way, and then brought your wife flowers—you’re still at a net zero! But if you bring her flowers for no reason, and with no expectation—then that’s a real deposit. Why wait? Go buy some today! Do this and watch your relationship blossom before your eyes.
◾Hug her often. This can be one of the greatest ways to make an emotional deposit…especially if she is lacking affection. Too often as men we get so busy trying to build our empire that we forget the one we are trying to take care of and build it for. Our wives are women, and women need affection…affection with no other expectation other than to make her feel loved, respected and appreciated. Start hugging her daily and watch how it will change her into a more complete person.

3. Cherish her. Hold her in high esteem. Protect her heart.

This is the magic that makes everything that you do work. By esteeming her you are letting her know that she is truly the most important part of your life. You are communicating that she is indeed more important than yourself. You treat her as she deserves to be treated, you love her as she deserves to be loved, and you treat her as the most important means to a happy life. As it has been said: Happy wife, happy life.

As it says in first Peter 3:7, “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.” How can we men truly understand our wives if we don’t study them? What makes your wife tick? What does she love? What does she hate? What is her love language? What does she need most from you? I frequently hear men commiserating with other men about the lack of understanding they have concerning their wife. I have no respect for a man who after many years of being married hasn’t figured out the least bit of how his wife works. We may never truly understand our wives, but we can always continue to strive and learn. What amazes me is that the same man who is clueless about how his wife works is often the one who has such an intimate knowledge of hunting deer that he wears deer urine to attract them. He can tell you anything about deer. His intimate knowledge of his passion makes him successful in his endeavor. What would happen if he had the same passion for figuring out his wife as he does for figuring out how to attract deer? He would have the most amazing marriage!

By selflessly putting her needs above your own, she will indeed feel cherished…and this is the final secret that really creates the magic.

So in conclusion, the three points were:

1. Treat her like a Queen and crown her daily

2. Make lots of deposits into her emotional bank account

3. Cherish her

These three things, when properly executed, will indeed yield a magical way over your wife and empower her to fulfill every desire of your heart—which at this point will only be to fulfill hers.

Now go home and serve your Queen!

As a mother knows the cry of her child, so the Lord knows the cry of His Children. At times, we may feel all alone, as if we are in a situation by ourselves…we are not. As a beautiful praise song states,”He knows my name, He knows my every thought, He see’s each tear that falls, and hears me when I call.” So wonderfully put; our Maker loves us, and intimately cares for all of our needs. God is not deaf toward His children, nor does He forget who we are…or our hurts…or what we truly need… He is the author and finisher of our faith.

He goes before you and writes your life’s journey; you are but to trust him, and rejoice in the road He has prepared for you, for He is your Father, and He loves you…perfectly.

My Wish

Posted by Author under Poems to My Wife

I wish to be by your side forever;

I love everything about you

You are the object of my obsession

Though my ways toward you do not always model what is truly in my heart, please know that I love you with a love that is deeper than I could fathom to express

I care for you so much,
It would be easy for me to get lost in your world forever

Your smile brings me more joy than anything I have ever beheld

Loving you is the greatest part of my life

Thank you for being so wonderful
Thank you for being so strong
Thank you for being my wife
Thank you for being the mother I’ve always dreamed of having for our kids
Thank you for making life a pleasurable vacation

God has blessed me with the woman of my dreams, a woman who completes me and a woman whom I desire to wake up next to ’til I die

You are more beautiful in the morning than any other woman fully adorned
Your beauty is natural because it was formed from your pure heart

Your ways are perfect; it is I who do not always understand them
I see this when I look into your eyes

You make me feel like a man

I wish to grow old with you and hold your wrinkled hand
I wish to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of our lives

I wish to bless you with diamonds, jewels, clothing and every good gift your heart desires
But most of all,
I wish to bless you by being the husband you truly deserve

Please be patient with me as I learn to be what you truly need and truly deserve
This will take some time

but this is ok

For I wish to be by your side forever;

My Love, My Wife

Posted by Author under Marriage

When I think of you, my life feels complete
Your ways are so special, your voice is so sweet.
Since I first held your hand and was captivated by your smile
I knew in my heart we would make it through any trial
My love for you daily, grows deeper yet still
I will love you till I die,
Till my roll, I fulfill
To love you, to cherish, to serve and provide
Till I love you as I should
I will always strive
You are the love of my life, and for this, I thank you
You have made me complete
My soul is anew
You are my world, my love, I will always stand by you
Till the day that we die, I will always be true

I love everything about you.
Thank you for loving me.

10 Ways To Know You Married A Great Woman:

1) When you look her in her eyes and say I love you, she blushes.
2) When she laughs, your heart is filled with joy.
3) Even when you argue with her, you are still awestruck by her beauty and you just want to stop arguing and hug her.
4) Every day that passes by, you feel deeper in love with her.
5) An overwhelming peace resides over you daily while working, knowing that your kids are at home with mommy and she is taking great care of them.
6) When you hold her hand, even after being married for 15 years, it still feels absolutely wonderful.
7) When you can’t even fathom being with someone else.
8) When she smiles at you, your life feels complete.
9) When she hugs you, you never want to let go.
10) When you know deeply in your heart that God only created one person in the world as lovely as her and she was meant for you….even though you know you don’t deserve her, she was gifted to you by God.

I made a list up of 52 things I thought would be fun to do with my Boys this year 2011. We will do them in any order and maybe group some together on days.

01. Build a fort.
02. Visit bee farm
03. Eat a 4 by 4 burger from In-N-Out.
04. Find a place that sells pickles out of a barrel and buy 3 to eat.
05. Sample 10 different types of cheese
06. Ride in a limo
07. Take the boys hunting.
08. Visit a Tortilla Factory.
09. Show them how to throw Ninja Stars.
10. Show them how to throw knives.
11. Shoot a bulls eye with a Bow and Arrow from their Fort.
12. Go camping at a campground.
13. Go paint-balling.
14. Ride on a Zip line
15. Rent a cabin in the mountains.
16. Take the boys to a shooting range to shoot.
17. Visit Texas
18. Visit Arizona
19. Take them to a Monster Truck rally .
20. Camp out in our back yard.
21. Go surfing.
22. Go horse back riding.
23. Take the boys out street evangelizing .
24. Go ice blocking down a hill.
25. Visit a building with 25 floors.
26. Find a building that has a 13th floor button.
27. Take them ice skating.
28. Take them to a roller rink.
29. Lay on our roof and look at the stars.
30. Go to a Hollywood Musical.
31. Go to a Magic show.
32. Make a snowman.
33. Go Deep Sea fishing.
34. Take them golfing 18 holes.
35. Swim to an Island.
36. Write a mini book with my boys.
37. Make a Shield of Faith.
38. Make marshmallow guns and have a war.
39. Go to a Billy Graham Crusade.
40. Find some sheep to pet.
41. Grow potatoes.
42. Take boys skeet shooting.
43. Make a 3 foot round pancake.
44. Take them to a Go-Cart track and race with them.
45. Go snowboarding.
46. Go digging for gems.
47. Go digging for gold.
48. Make a lemonade stand an sell lemonade.
49. Rent a boat and cruise around.
50. Take the boys Skeet shooting.
51. Take them to an Angels game.
52. Ride on a roller coaster.

Your Life Book

Posted by Author under Parenting

Imagine that as each day of your life passes by, they are recorded in a permanent journal…. Your Life Book. You are the author of your life book…. You are in control of the content. How will it be written? Write it with passion and adventure. Write it in such a way that your kids will want to read it over and over again. Write it so your kids will use it as a guide for raising their kids. Make it worthy to be passed on from generation to generation. Fill it with exciting memories…. Fill it with adventure. Will there be chapter after chapter filled with daddy working? Your kids are only young once. You can add chapters to your book of life, but you can never rewrite previous ones. Take great care on how you write.

Now go and hug your kids!
~ Dr. Dad

Sleeping Kid’s

Posted by Author under Parenting

When was the last time you watched your child sleep?

One of the greatest joys in life is to watch your child sleeping. They are so peaceful and precious. I believe there is a healing that takes place in our souls during this time. As I’ve watched my kids sleep, not only am I reminded of the tremendous blessing they are, I am filled with an amazing joy of their presence. Who am I to deserve this great gift from God? Who am I to properly raise this lovely child? As I look at them, I am reminded that I have a great responsibility. As this child grows, they will become more like me. My strengths as well as my weaknesses will be in them. The days which go by do not wait for me and can only be revisited in my mind….. God give me the wisdom to raise this precious gift. Give me the strength to do what is right. Help me be the example I wish them to be. Let me cherish each day with them as if it were their last. Let them grow up and marry someone who will cherish the privilege, just to be in their presence and watch them sleep….And with that, I whisper I love you.

Baby

Tripping Over Toys

Posted by Author under Uncategorized

The stubbed toes we possess due to toys out of place, is a reminder that our children are still with us.

Find joy in this…. and then teach them where the toys are supposed to go.

Trip

TOBY THE SERVANT OF TRINITY

Posted by Author under Parenting

Yesterday Toby (6) was being mean to his sister Trinity (4). As a punishment I told him he would have to be her servant for the rest of the day. I told Toby that if Trinity needed anything, he would need to respond kindly with the words, “yes, my princess, I would love to,” and then assist her. I explained to Trinity that if she needed anything at all, she could ask Toby and he would have to assist her. I gathered that she fully understood what she had just gained when she immediately made her first request. She said, “Toby, would you like to play tea cups with me?” My wife and I found it hard to hold back our laughter. His brother Timmy did not, though, and started laughing. Toby found it amusing as well and started to laugh also. He looked at Trinity and responded with, “Yes, my princess, I would love to.”



I think Toby actually enjoyed playing with his sister.

I believe we need to teach our kids a few things here:

1. Being kind to others is a must.

Too often we allow our kids to get away with being unkind, rude, selfish and mean to their siblings. This should not be acceptable to parents. We need to address every instance of this behavior with loving correction and/or a creative punishment to curb this behavior. Many times I hear parents say two things: (1) “Kids will be kids.” Yes, this is true… This means that kids will be messy, careless, playful at the expense of our property, precocious and at times a huge handful. This does not relieve parents of our responsibility to lovingly show them the correct response to these situations. (2) Parents complain, “if I corrected my kids every time they did something wrong, I would be correcting them all day long.” My response to them is usually, “Duh, that’s the whole concept of being a parent!” We are here to teach our kids how to respond to every situation that might present itself. Yes it’s tiring, yes it’s a lot of work. The dividends that good parenting yields, though, will pay off for the rest of our children’s lives.

2. You must learn how to joyfully serve others.

In order to be a great leader, one must first learn how to serve. I have been self-employed for almost 20 years now. The thing that has most amazed me about other contractors is their unwillingness to serve their clients. I believe that one of the contributing factors to my staying in business all these years has been my willingness to take care of what needed to be done. I have always tried to place my clients’ needs above my own needs or pride. I want my kids to be known for having these servant qualities as well. One of the marks of a great leader is their willingness to serve others.

3. Learn how to respond positively when things don’t go your way.

Teaching our kids how to respond when we speak to them or correct them is so important. When Timmy was 3 years old, I wanted to teach him how to respond to me when I told him we could not buy something. As we were walking into Ralphs one day, I told him that I wanted him to pick out something which he would like me to buy for him. I instructed him that when he asked me, I was going to tell him no. I told him that when I said “no,” I wanted him to respond with “okay Dad, no problem.” Things went down just as I had instructed him. After he said, “okay Dad, no problem,” I paused for a couple of seconds. I then told him that I was so proud of the way he responded to me, that I had changed my mind and I was now going to buy him what he requested of me. I did this with him a couple more times with great success. Then it was time to change it up a bit. I instructed Timmy that when he asked me for something this time, the answer was really going to be no, and I wouldn’t change my mind. I also explained to him that as we went shopping in the future, I would sometimes say “no” and really mean it and sometimes, if I was impressed with his willingness to have a great attitude despite my saying “no,” then I might just change my mind.

This worked out well a few more times until one trip to the costume store. I said “no”… he said “no problem”…he looked at me…then looked at me again…then he cried for 10 minutes, saying, “I thought if I said okay, then you would get it for me!”

I took this time to lovingly re-explain the whole concept again. I also told him that because he didn’t have a great response this time, the next couple of times he requested something, I would have to tell him “no” and really mean it. I also told him that when he responds with a great attitude to any situation that seems negative, he will increase his chances of having the situation turned around for his good. He understood this and from that point on, he responded confidently and positive. To this day Timmy has a great attitude. I have always tried to change it up to keep my kids honest and on their toes. I also say “yes” to some of their requests and choose my no’s wisely. When we are in a store, it’s fun to watch the responses of people within earshot when my 4-year-old daughter asks me for something, I say “no,” and she says, ”okay Dad, no problem.”

People look at me. You can tell they’re thinking, ”how the heck did he do that?” I think to myself, all you have to do is teach your kids how to respond.

Kids are like little computers just waiting to be programmed. Parents are the programmers. What programs are you installing in their lives? If you don’t program them, the TV, media and other friends will. Remember: you’re the parent. You’re in charge. It’s a simple fact, but sometimes we forget.

We need to teach more than we correct. If we find ourselves constantly correcting our kids, this may be a sign that we need to teach them more.

Little gifts for kids

Posted by Author under Parenting

Last night I told Trinity, my 4 yr old that daddy was going to leave her something on her dresser in the morning. She smiled with excitement and said, daddy is like Santa Claus? I smiled and said yes, daddy’s like Santa.

I have about 30 of these heart tins I’ve made for awhile now left over from an event I did. I figured I could, A. Sell them all for a buck at a garage sale or B. Leave one each morning for her for the next 30 days with some little fun and sweet things inside them. I chose B.

As I thought of this gesture, I thought of how powerful memories are to kids.

I urge all parents to seize each day with your kids. Create lasting memories by simple gestures. It’s never too late to preform kind little acts that will impact your kids future. Even if you have a stubborn teen who you might not get along with. Even leaving him/her a candy bar ,of their liking on their dresser for them to find with a little note saying I love you, Love dad, would be special. Something as little and seemingly insignificant as this gesture has the amazing ability to affect your kid for life. Yesterday I left Trinity a picture of two stick people holding hands, her and I . The caption says ( daddy loves you). She taped it to her door and showed me where she put it. Don’t let another day go by without performing some little gesture to the ones you love most in your life, for they will speak of it when they are old.

My little girl will wake up today with a joyful heart because of a simple tin filled with little hearts that say I love you and a small butterfly.

If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others. ~Haim Ginott

This is so true. When I was 15 years old I remember overhearing my mother while she was speaking to someone else. I remember her saying ” Tommy always makes his bed”. The funny thing was, I immediately thought, no I don’t. I had actually had a good week in which I made my bed but rarely did on other occasions. Well the next morning came and I was running late for school and was about to leave my room with an unmade bed. Suddenly the words”Tommy always makes his bed” popped into my head. I immediately reminded myself that this statement was not true. As I took another step toward leaving, the thought kept pestering me as my mind was engaged in a mental war. I finally conceded that to just go ahead and make my bed was far less painful than to continue with my mental debate. This process went on for a few days before the new me took over. Now I always made my bed and did so without missing a day. I did not want to scar a perfect record now. This “thing” whatever took place amazed me. I did not want to let my mothers perception of me down. My mother had this image of me that I wanted to uphold. I know now how important the power of praise really is. I also know how this could work in the reverse. Had my mom told us that we were pigs and incapable of doing anything right, I might have believed that. After all, she is my mother and I do trust her. I think too often we as parents forget this important truth. We get caught up with recognizing the negative things we don’t like in our kids and we forget to praise them. I like what Zig Ziglar used to say. He said, sometimes you have to just catch someone in the act of doing something right, then praise them. My mom caught me in the act of doing something right and then she praised me. Make it a point to praise your kids and even let them overhear you praising them. You will be amazed at how much they respect what you think of them.

Last night my daughter Trinity, 4, asked me if I would play dolls with her. When I told her yes, she started dancing around saying yippee! She was running around the house so excited.

I was a little surprised that what seemed simple to me meant the world to her. This also started me thinking of the things that excited me when I was a kid. The simplest things like going to Chuck-E-Cheese would send me into a spasm of craziness from all the excitement I felt.

I still remember those exciting moments as clearly today as when they happened. I realized last night that as simple as it seemed for me to play Tinkerbell & friends with her, she will probably be sharing this experience when she’s in her 50s. It’s a great feeling to know I have the ability to deposit those feelings into her life. I am in control as a father to project those deep and lasting joyful moments into my kids’ lives. What a privilege and awesome responsibility this becomes!

I think as parents, it is so important for us to stop with our busyness, and play with our kids. Regrets will always visit us later in life–our goal as parents should be to limit the frequency of their visits. Having meaningful play time with our kids is a great way to minimize these regrets.

I look forward to seeing the smile on Trinity’s face and the joyful dance & song when I ask her today if she wants to play dolls with daddy.

My life is brighter now because my little girls’ heart sang to me.

Today I am cleaning out one of my storage units. I have been using these units to store all my props I have built for events. I find myself looking at all of these items I have been saving with the realization that I could loose all of them if I do not come up with the money to pay for the units. I have found myself again praying to God for wisdom. As I am sorting my stuff and gathering things together for a garage sale, I am talking to God. I told Him that I relinquish all of my possessions to Him and He could do with them as He wished. I know Him to be a loving Father and I trust Him completely. If you take everything away, you can also bless me again with these things. It was then that I realized that they were never mine to begin with. God has given me everything I have and if He wishes to take some or all of it back, then I’m perfectly fine with that. I will praise you in my blessings and I will praise you in my want. Lord, I know you to be a loving father, I trust you completely. Help me be a beacon of hope for my wife, help me be an example to my kids of what a man of faith looks like.

Trusting in God

Posted by Author under Faith

Sometimes I catch myself losing the faith. Although I say I trust God, when I am put to the test, my feelings seem to get the best of me. I remind myself of God’s faithfulness as well as His nature, but sometimes my feelings of doubt will rob me of my joy. Maybe this time He won’t pull us through, maybe this time will be the time when we’ll lose the roof over our heads. Maybe if I was more responsible with our money, we wouldn’t be in this mess. I know you’re there, God, but I can’t feel your presence this time. I just want to follow you and hear your voice. I am listening, but I am not hearing. What can I do? It seems that my only choice is to continue to praise you until I am able to hear you again. Then I’ll walk where you ask me to walk.

This morning I was on my way to Starbucks to read my Bible and listen to God. Once again I wanted to search out the scriptures, find some direction and ask God what’s going on in my life. On my way there, I was praying for a friend of mine whose son has been in the hospital getting a brain tumor removed. I was thinking that I couldn’t possibly imagine what he and his wife are going through right now. Their beautiful boy could possibly die any second. How do you deal with that?

Yes they choose to trust God, but that doesn’t mean that God won’t take him.

Try to sleep at night with that in the forefront of your brain. I was thinking, how could I ever deal with that? How strong would my faith really be if I were going through what my friend is going through with his son?

As I was thinking and praying about this, I heard God say to me, “it’s not about you and your plans.”

It was at this point that I realized the source of all my stress…. things are not going according to MY plan. My plan is this: I really want to stay in this beautiful house you so graciously provided for us just months ago…I really would like to keep our wonderful vehicles….etc. I could go on and on about how things are not going according to plan…. My plan.

Isaiah 55:8
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

If I am really going to choose to trust in God, then I need to REALLY trust Him. To go where He leads only when I approve of the outcome or have a choice in the outcome, is not really trusting in Him.

Trusting God means that I am willing to go where He leads.

Trusting God means I will praise Him regardless of my circumstances.

Trusting God means I will keep my eyes fixed on Him daily.

Trusting God means I will stop asking Him “why?” and start asking Him “where?”

Trusting God is a daily choice to set my will and my expectations aside and choose to wholeheartedly follow His DAILY direction.

Today Lord I will choose to trust you, even when my feelings fail me. You are my only source of joy. Help me be a testimony to my wife and kids of your great faithfulness. Let me teach them by my example what it means to trust in you and to joyfully proclaim that our God is indeed a great God and worthy of our praise.

Your faithful servant,
Tom

Challenge:
My challenge for you today, is to make a decision whether you REALLY trust God or not. If you trust Him, then you need to praise Him in your trials.

I might not know what your going through right now, but I do know that, IN GOD YOU CAN TRUST.